fundie writing

Mindless MySpace Troll

The following message was sent to me on MySpace. I wish I could make this shit up, but I just can’t. I am not friends with the person that sent it to me, so I can only assume that it is mindless trolling. What can I say? I love fighting trolls. I’m an atheist three billy goats gruff.

I have preserved it exactly as it was sent to me, so that you too may get a nosebleed from reading it.

you Need to find Faith in SOMETHING!
of really not even apart of this (my) Conversaoin

because whats REALly so bad in having faith in something
BIGGER than YOU,,,than taking Prid in Jah,,,,,and after all that….you will TUREly gain faith within Your own “faith”
(having faith in yourself)

YOU cant skip the Middle man (THE LIGHT) or the olny one your fooling is Youself,,,,,,,,not me (not GOD)

your smart, but you sure as HELL ain’t to WISE

you need to find
Religion,though your own, Indenpendent studys
( and NOW),,then go try to find a ……

if this scene were a parish you’d all be condemned.
~patd

Peace. be with you

HollWood A.S. CloaKeezy

PS o and if you ever just start reading the Bible, in stead of just looking into the sometimes,,,,your find out that evey thing in there is “GOoD”,,,,,,, and all your doing is making YOURself look like a (free-DumASS DICK]

so….soLOng….

When responding to anyone on the internet about any topic, I absolutely hate to bring up their bad grammar, because it often leads them to believe that, besides their grammar, everything else is solid. My reply to the troll:

Your message is completely incoherent.

I have faith in the ability of mankind to do good things without fear of being cast into a lake or fire or the promise of streets paved with gold. People who are only motivated to do good because of some dividend paid in the afterlife are the unintelligent ones.

Do yourself a favor. If you would like to try and engage in dialogue with someone on any topic, it would serve you well to present your ideas in a manner slightly more appealing to the eyes. Your ridiculous disregard for all grammar, spelling, and punctuation rules makes me want to punch not you, but your parents and teachers for not teaching you correctly.

-www.godispretend.net

I could have gone on, but I’ve had a really long day, and I really didn’t want to put a lot of effort into responding to someone who is obviously not only a religious nut, but a stupid one at that. If you would like to engage this troll further, please drop him a line!

HollyWood A.S. CloaKeezy (whatever that means)

Wrath Via “Natural” Disasters

1055_01I know that Chick Tracts aren’t exactly a sterling representation of Christianity, but every once in a while I find one that I could never see anyone believing. I know, “Christians believing in weird stuff and taking crudely-presented information at face value.” Not a realistic concept.

And Chick Tracts? Who can’t take seriously little cartoon booklets left in public restrooms for innocent (yet doomed to Hell) passers-by. Chick even redrew one of their famous anti-Islam cartoons to better suit black audiences. They aren’t just trying to save souls with their crude and predictable story lines, they are targeting specific market segments. Even the most popular tract, This Was Your Life, has been redrawn to include black angels and a black god.

The tract I want to focus on here is one that attempts to equate natural disasters caused by God’s wrath. What incurred God’s wrath, you say? Why America turning its back on Israel is what!

J. T. Chick reminds us that the Jewish people are untouchable and any nation that turns their back on them is doomed to fall apart. Blah blah blah.

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Note the shifty Arab in the last cartoon telling who I can only assume is George W. Bush that Israel has too much land. Imagine that — religious people trying to tangle themselves with politics.

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There are more than 750 tornadoes and more than 1oo tornado-related fatalities every year. There have been more than 270 hurricanes that have struck th United States since 1851 that have caused countless fatalities and countless millions of dollars in property damage.

Are we to believe that each and every occurence of bad weather in the world is a direct result of God’s intervention? More specifically, are we to believe that each hurricane and tornado is a punishment for poor relations with the nation of Israel?

I smell bullshit.

Kentucky Calls Upon God to Protect Homeland

A 2006 piece of homeland security legislation passed by the Kentucky legislature stressed God’s role in protecting the state from evil-doers. The legislation contains a clause the dictates that a plaque be posted in the Office of Homeland Security that states that the state’s safety “cannot be achieved apart from reliance upon Almighty God.”

American Atheists has filed a lawsuit seeking to remove the offending verbiage. I don’t really care to discuss the actual legislation. What bothers me more are some of the comments posted by viewers of the WKYT website on this particular story.

Check out some of the bits of wisdom from the loving citizens of Kentucky:

This is Proposition 8 all over again. It isn’t a matter of 10% controlling the laws. It’s about 90% remembering that the 10% does, in fact, EXIST. We’ll work on respect for the 10% later. I’ll be satisfied with a recognition of existence for now. (Odd, huh? An atheist seeking recognition of existence.)

I don’t even have words.

Will it?

That’s interesting. I have a quote from Thomas Jefferson that says, “Shake off all fears of servile prejudices, under which weak minds are servilely crouched. Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call on her tribunal for every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a God, because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blindfolded fear.” What about one by James Madison that asks and answers an important question, “What has been Christianity’s fruits? Superstition, Bigotry and Persecution.”

I’ll leave you with that one. Please visit the site and read some more of the comments. Feel free to post a comment with your favorite reader nonsense.

Republicans Think They Are So Funny

I found the following joke while searching the interwebs. The little snippet that Google showed me on the results page was pretty telling, but I had to click through to check it out. It should come as no surprise that the site is titled Republican Operative.

FLORIDA COURT SETS ATHEIST HOLY DAY : In Florida , an atheist created a case against the Easter and Passover holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians and Jews observances of their holy days. The argument was it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized day.

The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring, “Case dismissed.”

The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, “Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter & others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah. Yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays.”

The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, “But you do. Counsel, your client is woefully ignorant.” The lawyer said, “Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists.”

The judge said, “The calendar says April 1st is ‘April Fools Day.’ Psalm 14:1 states ‘The fool says in his heart, there is no God.’ Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is adjourned.”

Is it even really worth the time to pick apart all of the things that are wrong with this? No? Well I’m doing it anyway.

  • What atheist would be lobbying for a holiday? I know there are some crazy atheists out there, because atheists are human after all, despite what people who thought this joke was funny might think. I don’t think the main point on any atheist’s agenda is to petition for an officially recognized atheist holiday.
  • Quite possibly the most disturbing part of this is that the judge used scripture in his decision, and no one is outraged!

If these “Republican Operatives” found themselves awake in a jail cell in the Middle East, how happy would they be if the judge cited the Quran in his decision? My guess is that they would not be very happy. However, Christians rarely take a moment and examine these sorts of things before turning an important issue, like atheists seeking a fair and secular society in which to live freely, and turning it into unfunny tripe to forward to their entire email address book.