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Christian Child Acts Like An Ass

Christianity prides itself on being a religion that quickly molds its youth into slave-like automatons. Within mere years, Christian children are professing their absolute love for Jesus in order to fit in with their friends and go on ski trips.

Basically this child is just mimicking what he (I think it’s a “he” anyway.) sees the adults do at church, and he’s making about as much sense. What bothers me the most is the audience reaction. Instead of some light chuckling, the crowd is actually cheering the child on as they would the preacher. Also, how much time is this kid spending in church for him to be picking up the mannerisms of the preacher?

Christian Hip-Hop Video

As best as I can tell, Jesus wants you to go annoy the piss out of your entire neighborhood with your tricked out shitmobile and terrible music. Anyone pick up on a different message from this video?

If you are interested in the marketing side of music, http://www.online-mba-programs.net is a great resource for finding an online program. I doubt anyone would want to manage ridiculous artists like this, but luckily there are artists out there with actual talent.

Baby Got Book was terrible, but it was at least made as a parody of another song. It’s hard to use the word “parody” when the end result is chock full of religious fundamentalism, but technically, that’s what it was. This “B-SHOC” guy, I don’t know what his deal is.

Avatar: Demonism, Satanism, Paganism

My friend Megan sent me a video two weeks ago that I have just now got around to watching. It is a preacher by the name of Mark Driscoll of the Mars Hill Church ranting about how Avatar is contrary to the teachings of Christ. Now, I never knew that Avatar was presenting itself as the Christ-alternative, but perhaps I’ve missed that in the advertising. I did finally see the movie without knowing what to expect. Not only were the visual effects stunning, but I was rather pleased at how good of a job the producers did at making me believe that I wasn’t just watching another rendition of Pocahontas or Dances With Wolves.

One thing I did notice was the obvious allusion to a Pagan or Earth-centric (Pandora-centric?) belief system. There was a sense of connectedness with all living things and one’s surroundings. This preacher believes that not only is this movie promoting (that’s debatable) Paganism, it is Satanic and demonic and any good Christian should distance themselves from its poisonous effects.

Pastor Driscoll seems to have forgotten the meaning of the word “fiction.” I bet he creamed his jeans when the Harry Potter and Twilight series came out. After all, those both market themselves as convenient alternatives to Christian belief, don’t they?

Not only do I believe that this man doesn’t actually have a clue what “Pagan,” “demonic,” and “Satanic” mean, I think he thoroughly believes that his sheep will turn into James Cameron’s sheep if they see this movie. He knows that the people to whom he is speaking will swallow ideas like a fish swallows bait, which is fine, as long as it is his ideas that they are swallowing. Where I think he underestimates his huddled masses is in their ability to distinguish fiction from reality, a feat that he obviously struggles with himself.

He believes with all of his heart that mere exposure to something less-than-Christian will lead to a complete internalization of a new worldview. I could understand that if the problem was people being lured into a cult, but the problem – for him – lies in a piece of fictitious cinema. “That any Christian could watch that without seeing the overt demonism is beyond me,” he says. Aside from confusing Paganism with the fictitious demons of his own twisted beliefs, he is suggesting that Christians cannot enjoy a film which presents a different idea of god and society. They must immediately be insulted and enraged that such sacrilegious filth is even allowed in theaters.

Apparently, a film that takes place on a different planet, with a foreign indigenous species, is supposed to follow the same religion that only a fraction of our own planet follows.

“The visuals are amazing because Satan wants you to emotionally connect to the lie.” That quote alone shows that this man cannot be reasoned with in any way. He genuinely believes that Satan is working through the evil producers and directors of Hollywood to bring anti-Christian propaganda to the big screen for the sole purpose of converting all viewers to a sin-laden lifestyle.

I can’t possibly speak any more about this man’s belief that fiction is taken seriously by all that view it. He believes that people will view a fictitious lifestyle and try to reconcile it with their own religious beliefs, instead of doing what normal people do, which is regarding it as a story with moving pictures and lots of bioluminescence.

Of course to solidify that this man is a charlatan and a profiteer, he admits that he has two home theater systems and three Tivos. I’m happy for him and all, but does his congregation not realize who bought him all of that way cool stuff?

Funny or Die: You Decide.

I recently received an email from Jason Sereno promoting his newest video on Funny or Die. He said, “I have a new comedy short on the front page of FunnyorDie.com today titled “Jesus Is Everywhere.” I think the video fits along great with your content. Feel free to post it to your site or anywhere else if you enjoy the clip.” I’m not reposting it because I enjoyed it per se. I’m reposting it, because I want to see what others think about the video.

The video was humorous enough. I especially enjoyed when the guy mouthed “son of a bitch” when Jesus was hitting on his girlfriend. However, the ending ruined it for me. If it is attempting to lampoon the whole footprints motif, it’s not doing it clearly enough. To me, any satirical message is diluted with the hokie pseudo-religious message at the end.

In my email response to him I said, “Thank you for the link. However, I must disagree with you when you say that this video fits along great with my content. The end of your otherwise humorous video ends in a very religious fashion with the all too cliche “footprints” text. Now if you had had the guy punch Jesus out for being a creeper and following him everywhere (not to mention, stealing his girlfriend), that would have fit in a little more closely with the theme of my website.”

What do you think? Funny? or Die?