Rss Feed
Twitter button
Facebook button
Tumblr button
Digg button
Stumbleupon button

A Few Bill Maher Quotes

A while back, one of my friends sent me some quotes from her Real Time with Bill Maher daily calendar. I share them now for your enjoyment.

To even win a nomination in this country, you have to say you’re a person of great faith. You have to pledge the people out there that you put your faith in things that are unable to be proven — that you suspend critical thinking as the way to go.

Now I’m sure you are all aware of what’s going on down in Alabama, where that judge insists of placing the monument of the Ten Commandments in his courthouse. The good news is the U.S. Supreme Court will not hear of keeping the Ten Commandments in the courthouse…. No, the Supreme Court was very clear. They said you cannot install a giant slab of granite in a state building unless its name is Arnold Schwarzenegger.

In New York, Catholic groups have forced an art gallery to shut down an exhibition of a six-foot image of Jesus in chocolate. So, the Archbishop of New York was very upset. He said, “It is appalling to make Jesus out of food! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go bake some communion wafers.”

New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn’t make you spiritual. It’s right above the crack of your ass, and it translate to “beef with broccoli.” The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren’t pregnant. You’re not spiritual. You’re just high.

Guest Post: A Closer Look at The God Warrior

She's not a Christiaaaaaaaaan-uh!!

The following is a guest post from my friend Megan.

As you probably recall, there was an earlier post about the crazy God warrior woman from Trading Spouses. As luck would have it, I was fortunate enough to catch the entirety of this episode earlier today. If you have not had the pleasure of catching this episode, let me fill you in on a couple of things.

First off, let me give you a brief synopsis. The two spouse that switch are Margaret Perrin and Jeanie Flisher. Margaret is an overbearing mother and wife who is pretty much terrified of anything that isn’t Christian. Jeanie is a hypnotherapist who is very much into astrology and other New-Age things. Jeanie has an ok time, and Margaret has a meltdown from all of the horrors she experienced while in the Flisher house.

So what are these horrifying and “dark sided” things that this poor woman Margaret was forced to endure?

  1. There were Mandala (Tibetan sand paintings) on the walls of the house.
  2. There was a star (not a pentagram, but a regular old star) on the side of the family’s barn.
  3. There were Tibetan flags in the house.
  4. She met a psychic.
  5. She went to a Solstice party.

Sounds terrifying, doesn’t it?

To me, the most interesting thing about this episode is the clash between two completely different belief systems. Now in my opinion, astrology and Christianity are equally ridiculous systems of belief, and yet it is only the Christian woman who is closed-minded, angry, judgmental and downright crazy. This episode pretty much brings to light everything that is wrong with the Christian faith. Here are some examples to illustrate:

Jeanie told the family that their house was beautiful.

Margaret freaked out about decor like Mandala and stars.

Jeanie met Margaret’s friends, who were cold to her because she wasn’t a Christian, and she still maintained a good attitude.

Margaret panicked because she had to go to a party to celebrate the moon and freaked out when she met a psychic even though he was also Christian.

Jeanie took one of Margaret’s daughters shopping for jewelry because she noticed the daughter was being ignored.

Margaret made Jeanie’s family to go to church and tried to force Jesus upon all of the kids.

When it came time to allocate the money, Jeanie gave the bulk of the money to the gastric bypass surgery that Margaret wanted.

Margaret gave Jeanie’s family a bunch of Bibles.

Margaret’s family missed Jeanie when she left.

Jeanie’s family did not miss Margaret.

What really made me mad about this episode is that Margaret didn’t even try to understand this other family. She immediately assumed they needed to be saved and forced her beliefs on them with zero regard to their interests and beliefs. As one of Jeanie’s kids pointed out, “Margaret kept talking about Jesus but we couldn’t talk about astrology or anything she didn’t believe in so it wasn’t really fair.” Margaret jumped to conclusions about the family without even asking them what they believe. Unfortunately, Margaret is not a unique case. There are many Christians out there who feel and act the same way she does, and that is what is truly horrifying.

If you would like to contact Megan, you can comment on her blog.

Mindless MySpace Troll

The following message was sent to me on MySpace. I wish I could make this shit up, but I just can’t. I am not friends with the person that sent it to me, so I can only assume that it is mindless trolling. What can I say? I love fighting trolls. I’m an atheist three billy goats gruff.

I have preserved it exactly as it was sent to me, so that you too may get a nosebleed from reading it.

you Need to find Faith in SOMETHING!
of really not even apart of this (my) Conversaoin

because whats REALly so bad in having faith in something
BIGGER than YOU,,,than taking Prid in Jah,,,,,and after all that….you will TUREly gain faith within Your own “faith”
(having faith in yourself)

YOU cant skip the Middle man (THE LIGHT) or the olny one your fooling is Youself,,,,,,,,not me (not GOD)

your smart, but you sure as HELL ain’t to WISE

you need to find
Religion,though your own, Indenpendent studys
( and NOW),,then go try to find a ……

if this scene were a parish you’d all be condemned.
~patd

Peace. be with you

HollWood A.S. CloaKeezy

PS o and if you ever just start reading the Bible, in stead of just looking into the sometimes,,,,your find out that evey thing in there is “GOoD”,,,,,,, and all your doing is making YOURself look like a (free-DumASS DICK]

so….soLOng….

When responding to anyone on the internet about any topic, I absolutely hate to bring up their bad grammar, because it often leads them to believe that, besides their grammar, everything else is solid. My reply to the troll:

Your message is completely incoherent.

I have faith in the ability of mankind to do good things without fear of being cast into a lake or fire or the promise of streets paved with gold. People who are only motivated to do good because of some dividend paid in the afterlife are the unintelligent ones.

Do yourself a favor. If you would like to try and engage in dialogue with someone on any topic, it would serve you well to present your ideas in a manner slightly more appealing to the eyes. Your ridiculous disregard for all grammar, spelling, and punctuation rules makes me want to punch not you, but your parents and teachers for not teaching you correctly.

-www.godispretend.net

I could have gone on, but I’ve had a really long day, and I really didn’t want to put a lot of effort into responding to someone who is obviously not only a religious nut, but a stupid one at that. If you would like to engage this troll further, please drop him a line!

HollyWood A.S. CloaKeezy (whatever that means)