War on Christmas: Back in Style!

I received the following email a few days ago. I do not know the person who sent it to me, and I can only assume that we were in contact years ago in an email that I have long since purged from my Gmail account. I get forwarded messages every once in a while; Gmail is pretty good about halting most of them. This one was a little different though. It almost seems that Gmail let this one through, so that I could deliver a retributive bitch slap. It was titled “The Grinch”.

Today, November 12th, 2008, I read in the news that the “American Humanist Association” has launched a “Why Believe in a God?” campaign, starting on buses in Washington DC next week. According to their spokesman, athiests, agnostics and non-theists “feel a little alone during the holidays, because of its association with traditional religion”.

REALLY? People who deny there is a God -they get bummed when other people celebrate God? Why is that? They are totally welcome to believe in God! Nothing stops them but themselves! I believe in God. I’m not sad, nor do I feel left out, when athiests sit around not believing!

We have become a nation of whiners…and apparently, a nation of Godless whiners! Will you please join me in making a phone call to the American Humanist Association? Assure them “Don’t be so sad! We’ll share our God with you!” Cheer them up! It will just take a moment, it will tie up their phone lines, and THEY pay for the toll free call!

They can be reached at (800) 837-3792. Call now!!! Call often!!! And send this email to EVERYONE you know. Maybe we can be the Grinch who stops their $40,000 ad campaign - by sending them a big phone bill!

How Christ-like.

“We don’t agree with you, so instead of responding with a logically-sound argument, we’ll prank call you a bunch of times and run up your phone bill!” What’s next? Having a bunch of pizzas delivered to their headquarters?

This email had 476 recipients, including myself, and they were listed alphabetically and cut off early into the D’s. I don’t even want to guess how many people got this email from this lady. Oh yeah, did I mention that she’s a lady. And that I have her name, address, and phone number? Thanks to my good friend, the internet, I do!

Her name is Linda Creviston, and she lives near Chicago. I won’t give her full address, but since I was able to find her information easily online I’m sure any interested parties could do the same. I was originally going to post her phone number, but again, I think I am better than that. But… for anyone who wants to do some internet digging, I’ll give you a hint: her area code is 630.

I’d love to say, “Call Linda up and harass her!”, but I’m not going to. In fact, I hope no one calls her. She leads a sheltered existence inside a set of medieval beliefs surrounded by a toddler’s maturity for debate. There is not a single thing any one of of us could offer Linda to change this.

That is the sad reality of the world in which we live. We are outnumbered by people who resort to an appeal to popularity all to often to justify their childish, strong arm techniques.

Fasting from MySpace

Although I’m not a big fan of MySpace, I check it pretty regularly for messages and such. I usually stick to Facebook, but I’ve got a few friends that aren’t on there. Well one of my “friends” had the following message posted for all to see.

Alright, so it’s time for me to fast MySpace again. I’ll be gone until God tells me it’s time to come back. Call or email me if you need me.

I would have sent the person a message, but who knows when God would have told them it was alright to check it. The thing that I don’t understand is why giving up access to MySpace was such a holy sacrifice. Why is MySpace evil, but email alright?

Alright. The guy made a sacrifice. He gave up the evils of a social networking site. Now what? What kind of arrogant person thinks that God actually cares about their MySpace usage? That’s what really makes me scratch my head. Was God going to come to them in a dream? Would His will be communicated through the clergy? Writing on the wall?

If it weren’t for the fact that I make it a point not to be confrontational with people’s psychotic religious beliefs, I would have called/emailed this guy and tried to get to the bottom of it all.

What Foxholes?

You’ve probably all heard it. “There are no atheists in foxholes.” Oh really? What foxholes? And why wouldn’t they be down there? Are foxholes lined with Holy Water or some atheist repellant? I understand what this message is trying to convey, but that doesn’t make it anymore based in fact. The fact that people keep repeating this drivel only continues to lend to its credibility.

If you haven’t heard this cocky Christian catchphrase before, it basically tries to purport that atheists, in a moment of emotional duress (aka “wit’s end”, death bed, foxhole) will turn to God (the Christian one, not the others) because all humans have an inherent inclination to succumb to the divine.

ARGUMENT FROM CATCH-PHRASE
(1) There are no Atheists in foxholes.
(2) [Atheist points out Atheists in foxholes.]
(3) They don’t count.
(4) Therefore, God exists.
from GodlessGeeks.com

I even had one of my coworkers try to lay this shit on me. His phrasing was even more holier-than-thou than that of the phrase itself. “Well can you explain this? Every human being, no matter what religion, when put in a life-threatening situation, turns to God.” ………

Yeah, he actually said that. I quickly retorted with, “Actually, I can provide first-hand evidence that that is not true. Last fall was one of the worst periods of my entire life. So much to not look forward to, yet I never let myself lose grip of my direction by surrendering to the imaginary. I took my life by the horns and guided myself to where I am today, and I am a much better person because of it.”

I don’t remember what he had to say in response to that, but it was preceded by a scoff.

Why are Christians so arrogant to think that their belief structure is genetically and spiritually ingrained in all people, and that those who have yet to see the light are just absolutely champing at the bit to be reborn? Let me break it down for you: I was born of the sperm of my father and the ovum of my mother. 8 months and 13 days after conception, I experienced the only birth I needed; that which released me from my mother’s womb.

This meaningless phrase is yet another attempt to discredit logic and reason and further an institution which blatantly denies the truth that man is born an atheist and dies alone. Religion was fabricated to fill in the gaps and answer the questions that curious man had, but did not yet possess the technology to solve. What started as a bedtime fairy tale to explain the origins of mankind has developed into a debilitating social structure that threatens the ability of our world to progress in the areas of science, industry, and education.

Whenever you hear someone spreading the seed of deceit with this sort of nonsense, state loudly and proudly that you do not require the crutch of religion to guide you through life.