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One Fatwa Coming Up!

I usually despise email forwards of all kinds, funny or not, but my father brought this to my attention and I just couldn’t NOT pass this along.


A Muslim dies and finds himself before the Pearly Gates.
He is very excited, as all his life he has longed to meet the Prophet Mohammed.
Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven, he meets a man with a beard.

“Are you Mohammed?” he asks.

“No, my son. I am Peter. Mohammed is higher up.”
And he points to a ladder that rises into the clouds.

Delighted that Mohammed should be higher than Peter,
he climbs the ladder in great strides,
climbs through the clouds coming to a room
where he meets another bearded man.
He asks again, “Are you Mohammed?”

“No, I am Moses. Mohammed is higher up.”

Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy.
he continues to climb the ladder and, yet again,
he discovers an even larger room
where he meets another man with a beard.
Full of hope, he asks again, “Are you Mohmamed?”

“No, I am Jesus…You will find Mohammed higher up.”

Mohammed higher than Jesus!
The poor man can hardly contain his delight and climbs
and climbs, ever higher. Once again, he reaches an even larger room
where he meets a man with a beard and repeats his question:
“Are you Mohammed?” he gasps, as he is, by now,
totally out of breath from all his climbing.

“No, my son….I am God. But you look exhausted.
Would you like a coffee?”

“Yes, please, my Lord.”

God looks behind him, claps his hands and calls out:
“Hey, Mohammed, two coffees!”

13 thoughts on “One Fatwa Coming Up!

  1. Possibly the worst website I have ever come across. I hate the internet, because now I have to do something about it. I have been in several “religion fights” and won them all.

    Let me fight fire with fire first of all,
    and refer you to this website.

    It contradicts every stupid little thought an atheist could possibly have.

    I recommend the “answers for atheists” section…

    Atheists are too chicken to become Christian in my opinion. Or something. I don’t know. I have never gotten a straight answer as to why.. because there is really is none.

    During arguments, I hear, “Let me have my beliefs and you can have mine.” Um.. what beliefs exactly? You have no beliefs.

    Atheists take up 2-3% of the population. Wow… what a reliable “religion”.

    The only reason you hear about atheists is because they brag about not believing in God. Yes, brag. Which is pretty much what this website is. A huge boast.

    And I know exactly what you’re thinking. I am some crazy Christian lady.

    Actually no, I am not. I am a 17 year old girl with common sense way above any atheist.

  2. Yawn… You done?

    BTW, I’ve been to the above referred site, and it is a load of crap. Half of the “Answers for Atheists” section refers right back to scripture. The other half relies heavily on logically fallacious arguments to support already ill-defined hypotheses.

  3. Mohammed is the servant of god. No jihad material here. Move along now. Nothing to see.

    “The Qur’an addresses Muhammad in the second person not by his name but by the appellations prophet, messenger, servant of God (‘abd),…”

  4. @God is Pretend
    You forgot that the half that is not scripture is pure bullshit. An easy google search will show you that the lower half of Africa, the primarily CHRISTIAN part of Africa has the most AIDS/HIV out breaks. Contrary to what it says.

  5. Leo, be that as it may, somehow I don’t think that many Muslims would much like a story about Mohammed serving coffee to God and some schmo.

    Let’s not forget that logic and level-headedness aren’t exactly the strong suits of any religious believers.

  6. @God is Pretend

    Logic and level-headedness are not strong point of religions as a whole, but in this case we also have to consider another trait.

    Lack of a sense of humor seems to be a common trait of both the christian and the muslim deities. This is a trait that is enthusiastically imitated by many of their believers.

    I think it is a safe assumption that no muslim will get a laugh from this joke, and it will trigger a violent written (at the very least) response, should any muslims visit this site and read it.

    Funny thing, though, that Fatwa is only called against those who are weak enough to be easily beaten by the offended “faithful”.

    When Mustafa Kemal Ataturk said “Islam, this absurd theology of an immoral Bedouin, is a rotting corpse which poisons our lives” no Fatwa was called against him or his country.

    From this historical precedent one must infer that most reliable way to avoid offending muslims (or religious people, in general) is being too strong to be an easy prey for the “offended”.

    One Fatwa, coming up.

  7. You’re… kind of immature.

    Anyway, what is your reason to be atheist? You don’t believe in God. But, why don’t you believe in God? Is there a reason or a story behind this?
    I can’t think of a reason to not believe in God. I mean, there is no proof that there is NO God.
    So I’m curious as to why.

    Even if there is there really is no God, which nobody know for sure, religion is a good way to improve your life. I used to be atheist back when I was young and religion was the last thing on my mind, and my life improved A LOT ever since I started to believe in God. You see the world in a very different way. I’m just saying.

  8. You’re… kind of arrogant.

    You assume that because you chose to ignore logic and assume that there is some all-powerful deity in charge of everything that such a choice would also be good for me.

    I’m glad your life improved. My life improved when I started to give back to my community. Is charity work for everyone? Probably not.

    Sure there is no proof that there is no god, but there is also no proof that there are no leprechauns or fairies. I choose not to believe in fairies and leprechauns for the same reason I choose not to believe in god. There is no need for it.

    I can (and do) lead a very moral and fulfilling life without the involvement of fantastical and wholly unprovable entities.
    .-= God is Pretend´s last blog: E-I-E-I-Ooooh! =-.

  9. “my life improved A LOT ever since I started to believe in God”

    So you chose the ignorants’ path because if they say actually happens to be true (we all know it’s all BS), you’ll go to heaven instead of simply losing all the connections between your degrading neurons when you die… Wow. I prefer to accept the reality instead of making up stuff to make me feel better.

    And sorry if I don’t believe you were an Atheist and converted to a religion. Most likely you simply didn’t care about religion and latter you did because it made you happier….

  10. The reason that religious folk do not get it, is because they just plain refuse to think logically. No matter how many good arguments are put to them about their belief in gods, they refuse to look at them.

    They think that Faith is a virtue, yet they would not buy a second hand motor vehicle on faith.

    Here are the facts, there are no gods, and when you died, that is it, end of story. So make the most of this one life and prepare the world for the next generation as you would have liked the previous to have done for you.

  11. another mohamed here thanking you for the early morning laugh.. whole new meaning for Muhammad is god’s servant.

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