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Some More Bill Maher Quotes

My friend sent me some Bill Maher quotes a while back which I posted for your enjoyment. Stop holding your breath, because she sent me some more for me to share.

New Rule: If churches don’t have to pay taxes, they also can’t call the fire department when they catch fire. Sorry, Reverend, that’s one of those services that goes along with paying in. I’ll use the fire department I pay for; you can pray for rain.

If you believe Jesus ever had a good word for war or torture or tax cuts for the rich, or raping the earth, or refusing water to dying migrants, then you might as well believe bunnies lay painted eggs.

Sam Brownback, Mike Huckabee and Tom Tancredo – those are the three guys who said they do not believe in evolution. And the irony will be on them when their campaigns die off in favor of stronger, fitter campaigns.

I always say, “You know what? So what if you love Jesus. Would Jesus love you?”

I know the “morals and values” folks want us to take time out of the school day for prayer and the Ten Commandments and abstinence training, and to learn at least two theories of evolution – the one agreed upon by every scientist in the world, and the one that involves naked ladies and snakes.

The Kansas School Board again is trying to pass a resolution replacing teaching of evolution with the teaching of “creationism.” They pointed out today in the meeting that no one actually ever saw evolution happen. They also passed a resolution that says your feet disappear when you put on shoes.